Heading 'em off at the pass

It has been brought to my attention that, this Friday night, ABC will air an episode of 20/20 that supposedly exposes alleged hypocrisies of mine. These charges are blatant fabrications, as I believe will be self-evident to anyone who views the program.

In the meantime, I will post here a portion of the transcript of my 20/20 interview with John Stossel. The evidence—or lack thereof—speaks for itself.

Herewith:

John Stossel: "Mr. Slaton, in your blog 'Fighting Fire with Unlit Matches,' you assert that, and I quote, 'the manners, grooming, and general cleanliness of the American male are in steep decline'—yet here, in an email to one 'NAME REDACTED,' dated October 25th, you provide a link to Urban Dictionary's definition of the slang term [skeptical, puzzled pause] 'XXX XXXXXXX.' How do you reconcile this?"

Hunter Slaton: "This is a witch hunt."

JS: "Is that a reference to Magic: The Gathering?"

HS: "This interview is over."